in semi-personal

I feel lost

The lines I draw are too thin, they don’t stand out as grand as I want to intend, I feel bland in what I do. What to do when I feel like this? That I’m unsure of I’m afraid.

Back aching and hands unsteady, flawed but without a charm to compliment.

My words, they feel like nonsense to me and presumably others.

My formatting, messy and nearly incomprehensible, barely follow writing standards.

My direction, unclear and most times never goes anywhere.

Can barely make myself happy, I feel that I’ll never accomplish something I really want.

Time wasting, 17th birthday heading close and still haven’t accomplished anything noteworthy to me.

Too behind, got things that need to be done but feel lack of energy to do them and get stressed to do them or not do them.

Lonely, can barely talk or mingle with who I am or want to possibly be friends with because of anxiety, yet still crave interaction at the same time.

Too afraid to make a move, wish to not make the wrong decisions on accident but feel like I’m not living my life as much as the next person.


I feel like at this point, I don’t know who in the world I am, what I want, what to do, when to do it, where, how, and etc. What am I supposed to do at this point? I’ve considered just basically calling myself useless at this point, I can’t serve a specific or multiple purposes to fulfill, hopeless. I’m still stuck in the bars of what’s holding me back, don’t how to get outside of them, what am I supposed to do?

At this point, I’ll never be able to do anything it seems…

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