Currently logged into this blog on a classroom Chromebook, my advisor allowed us to have some free time for a little bit. I haven’t been able to ssh into my laptop at home, I think the school network admin disabled connecting to other servers via ssh on port 22, might need to change the port at home so I can bypass the block.
Also today was picture day and I forgot to shave… well shucks. Oh well, can’t blame myself since my throat was extremely sore again today, doing better now though!
Update: Just returned from lunch and holy molly was that really good, I think I was really hungry, still a bit hungry even. The lunch items I had were beef taco, refried beans, fries, and a banana; all so incredibly delicious, makes me wonder what they serve in the mornings!
The note at the bottom was for a classmate who had to communicate in sign language and was temporarily deaf at the time, reassuring her I’ll do better as much as possible if this happens again.Abstract art of sorts, often seen in this collection of sketches.Vocab word listing I made to help myself write them down, this whole layout developed on its’ own and I enjoy the look of it, maybe I’ll try to recreate this as a theme for my blog!Ideas for Art 2’s hallway bulletin board.More ideas for the bulletin board.These were so fun to do!!!
I thought I’d share these sketches I’ve made during school, considering I’m gonna be out for rest of the week due to Strep throat, so I thought might as well!
Also context on why I’m out from school temporarily; my mamí got emailed from the school, notifying her that I’ve been in direct contact with a student who tested positive for Covid. Thankfully I already have all my Covid shots plus boosters, but I did notice my throat got sore yesterday and the other day. Went to a walk in clinic today to get my test for Covid, which turned out to be negative thank goodness, but they were seeing something in my throat and decided to test for Strep. Lo and behold, I was positive for strep, which really stinks, but thankfully I’ll be able to return to school on Monday with the help of antibiotics I got prescribed.
Didn’t get it done today, but we did get a callback stating we’re able to go, yay!
Btw, there was this really nice girl, about my age, who let me have a seat next to her while waiting for the counselor to see me and mami, which really made my day. She was super cute too, should’ve gotten her name, but I hope to see her again in school, looking forward to doing something for her in return! 💚
It sounds possibly fun and stressful at the same time…
There’s lots of effing complicated factors about why, but the main reason is back in 2020, the school attempted to make me go to in person learning, since I was doing remote and was behind, plus the year was 2020, Covid was at a high peak where they were. There was no way I was going to put myself in danger of Covid then, there weren’t even vaccines yet for my age; because even if I wore a mask, everyone was likely to go maskless, since my state’s idiotic governor thought it should “be the parents’ decision to let their child have a mask or not”, even though the CDC heavily stated everyone needs to. It was then my family decided to go through an online school in order to avoid this risk, which worked out okay, honestly I was lagging behind a bit, but was able to obtain a good GPA still thankfully.
Now that I’m out of that, we thought I could maybe go back to public now that Covid is somewhat eased up, I feel much more safer now that I got the vaccine (thank goodness for them). The only sort of problem was that the school told us I couldn’t come back, but would later learn that was complete BS, as my psychologist informed that it’s in fact illegal for a school to tell you that or reject you.
There’s just a lot of fear I’m having about going back recently, and I was more positively looking at it a few months back, mostly uncertainty I would describe it as. I feel that if I go off and attempt to list reasons of why, I’d probably type garbled nonsense, so I’ll leave at uncertainty. It feels like the clock is ticking to my breaking point, it just feels like odds are pressing against me at the hardest pressure, a lot of them being personal.
Maybe I’m just too fearful, might not be too bad, going to do my best nonetheless.
Maya Wip I did today and she’s lookin’ really good!
The WIP featured here was done in GIMP, I figured I try it for a change, after all, it has a good rep with artists, as far as I know.
This also is from the perspective of 3 days ago, since I didn’t finish this post in time.
Today was unexpected for me in a way, I’m gonna recap this as best as I can, soooooo here goes!
My Mami was asleep for the most of the day, I played a slot machine like game on the stereo system, and spent most of the day on art!
Btw, yes, you heard right about that slot machine game on the stereo system lol.
Although I didn’t necessarily plan out the day, my art became the main focus on it’s own. It started off with this painting in Krita I did, which I’m keeping a surprise hehe, intended as an entry for a calendar feature photo. It’s been in the works for mostly this week and last, with it being on the back burner for about a month, with the near end result looking incredibly pretty.
But as for that piece, I will reveal that as a surprise if it makes it, if not, then you’ll see it here most definitely. However, I do present to you a WIP of Furdy’s Maya the Mako Shark, as seen above. In this, you can see Maya rocking a pair of boxing gloves, a sports bra, and sports shorts.
So all in all, it’s very cool how today led me to my art, hope you enjoy! 😉
The first time I heard Post Malone was when I was in second grade, waking up early in the morning, watching music videos on MTV, MTV 2, and VH1. One morning, we, me and my mamí, flipped over to MTV 2, and listened to one of Posty’s first hits, White Iverson. It was nice chillax track, with pleasing visuals of a car (believe it’s a Rolls Royce) doing donuts, along with montages of him shooting some hoops and singing. We practically fell in love with the song immediately, it had such a great energy, along with Post’s unique vocals with the assist of auto tune, it felt really unique and pleasing. We aren’t the most “die hard” fans of him, but we do love him and his music that gives, along with his production crew.
Most recently I’ve been attached to this recently released album, listening and admiring the great variety yet consistent composition in each song, same goes for the album art. Speaking of which, I did this sketch inspired by it!
The album’s themes include being self aware of emotions, getting back out there, romance, feeling energetic, alcoholism, cigarettes, regret, depression, and suicidal thoughts. As per my interpretation, the album comes from a dark times the musician had from being a big star at a long of fame to the stress of the pandemic, a more of a intimate personal album compared to rest of his incredibly successful discography. His feelings are released to a great extent in the second half of the album, in a manner that feels as if he’s to venting out to himself or to a therapist, I feel this best true with “Waiting For A Miracle”, where he alludes to his suicidal thoughts.
I’m scared to die while I’m awake, so I load one round… Fuck me up. Fuck it, get fucked up. Fuck me up and stay fucked up.
Post Malone – Waiting For A Miracle from Twelve Carat Toothache
I like to think of the last verse as a slowed down emotional breakdown, where you feel no control over what you say to calm yourself or express how you feel in specific terms, where you perform rotations 100 times over Earth does in a day against your will, a sense of uncontrollable and endless chaos. Usually in songwriting and writing in your journal, especially if a song concerns your emotions, you clean up the “messy” parts in aim to keep audience focus. However, Post took a contrary approach, with this song in particular, where he left in his thoughts untouched, to emphasize how messy his emotions and mental health were, highlighting suicide in particular.
The closer “New Recording 12, Jan 3, 2020” is a callback to Euthanasia, another track featuring suicidal thoughts, and is presumed to be a demo/first incarnation of the song, showing non auto tuned vocals with reverb. Note how I discussed his feelings in past tense, this track is the answer, for the title indicates this was over two years ago. As with any or all emotions, they’ll still linger or leech in not so often, but you can possibly overcome them by making the right decisions to help yourself, sometimes unintentionally or even unknowingly. With that being said, it is likely that he’s been able to let go of these emotions now that they’ve been expressed to us, showing how long he’s been coping with them and the efforts to help himself out.
This album marks the first Post Malone album I’ve listen all the way through and glad it was this one, the vents in here, especially the “Waiting For A Miracle” vent. It hit close to home and made me realize how to describe my emotions, although not to the extremity of suicide though, don’t worry!
My grandpa went to the airport a couple weeks ago, with his goal set on visiting some family members back in Mexico, thus I am the title as of now for approximately two weeks. My main responsibility is to take care of the animals (including the cats, dogs, horse, and chickens), there’s probably lots more to list, but that’s the major one.
I feel that I got this down, that I can do everything with comfort, without anxiety of getting it wrong. To help myself out, I took a video recording of my grandpa demonstrating how to feed the animals, serving as a reference.
For the most part, I’ve been on point, but a there’s a few days where I got up late though. However I’m going to correct upon it via setting multiple alarms for whenever I happen to oversleep a little. Fingers crossed that it works out!
Along side that, I picked up inspiration the other day to record myself feeding the animals outside, did it once, but was rather nice! I appreciated how I looked on video, not in a selfish way, I looked great. That also reminds me how I lost weight over these weeks, like a crazy ton, it completely flew by me and didn’t noticed until my godmother and mami pointed out.
A close friend of mine made these amazing art pieces just recently and wow are these artworks amazing! Rayjen, if you’re reading this, I want you to know that you’re an amazing pal and your art is awesome as always dude! Btw, I got inspired by your tweet below and gave it my own spin, you did amazing on that pose and facial expression!
Something I want to do, but haven’t been really able to do yet, same kinda goes for my journal entries. Yep, that’s right, I’m getting straight up meta right now, and I’m not talking about the company. To put it short, I want share more insightful posts in the future, although I’m fully aware I’m not completely obligated to do longer posts since no one isn’t controlling me.
